Pansexuality

This is a situation that I’ve always debated not only writing, but being honest, on. All of my friends know and a few of my family members, yet as much as I don’t have to do this, I feel like the time has come where I need to.

I am pansexual.

What is pansexuality, you ask? Well, here’s the time to educate you.

No, I am not attracted to pans. Very funny and original joke. Never heard that one before. My response is usually that you can use anything if you’re brave enough. So to help educate all you new experts of sexuality, let me give you a hand. Here’s a few helpful definitions for future use.

Heterosexual: This is what most people are aware of. This is when a man and woman are both attracted to the opposite sex. So what some people think of as ‘normal’.

Homosexuality (Gay or Lesbian): When someone is attracted to someone of the same sex. This could be also referred to as gay or lesbian.

Wlw/mlm: a term for ‘women like women’ or ‘men like men’. This is another way of saying you’re homosexual, but some people now find gay terms offensive and would prefer to use this. So if you ever hear or see someone refer to themselves as this, this is what it means.

Bisexual: When someone is attracted to the two biological sexes- men and women.

Pansexual: When someone is attracted to all recognised genders, e.g. males, females, gender-fluid, asexual, gender neutral, etc…

Asexual: Someone who has romantic feelings towards someone but is not sexually attracted. Usually, asexuals never feel sexual attraction.

These are the most common and recognised terms for sexuality. Now, this doesn’t cover gender or all sexualities and you might want to look that up too, for your own and other people’s sake. Especially all you old ‘ens.

Note: Transgender people are only one sex and should be treated as such, not an in-between. So don’t be rude and think they don’t count in any of these. When it comes to pansexuality, transgender individuals are assumed to be out of the biological category of men and women. But this is a load of bollocks. As previously said, they are either men or women. So why they wouldn’t count is beyond me.

So, now that is all out in the open. There are a few things I would like to say.

First of all, a lot of people won’t be surprised. I have been labelled as a ‘tomboy’ and ‘masculine’ before, but I’ve also been labelled ‘girly’, so really none of these apply. It means nothing. It doesn’t define me nor my sexuality.

Next, don’t ever ask me if I’ve ever been with a girl as soon as you find out. Being with another gender besides male does not validate my sexuality. It was already valid. Thank you.

I’ve known since I was about fourteen, thank you for asking. A frequently asked question and one I don’t really care for asking. I mean, when did you know you were straight? It must be really hard to come to terms with. Have you told your parents yet? Really…

Just because I’ve never had a serious relationship, doesn’t make me a lesbian. I don’t know where that social concept came from. It’s ridiculous.

Just because I am attracted to more than just men, it doesn’t mean I have to have an equal balance of whoever in my life. People can have a preference towards a certain sex and that doesn’t make their sexuality any less valid. This applies to me too.

So, thank you for taking the time to read this. I would like to think I felt better for getting it out in the open, but in all honesty, it doesn’t matter. Because I’ll still be the same person next time you see me.

Advertisements